Part 1 · Chapter 17

Review of Circles and Types of Desire 0:01

So we just finished explaining about the עיגולים. We explained the difference between the רצון מוחלט and the רצון מורכב. והנה מעתה יש להבין, now we have to start to understand, because until now we didn't understand anything. בפרטי ענין הקו כמו שהוא בבחינת עיגולים וכו'. We have to understand how the קו is already עיגולים וכו', because really we were supposed to explain יושר, but we don't really explain יושר.

We don't explain it until the next chapter. Here he starts like tells you a little bit, but you know it's not so much. So now we have to understand the details.

So we explained the general idea of what what עיגולים means, right? What does it mean? Like like the רצון for a house, that there's the general רצון and then inside that it includes all the particular רצונות, and it divides up into a bunch of particular like רצונות, and each one is like a circle. What does it mean it's a circle? It means it includes everything inside of it equally.

So it's like one point that includes everything. It's like making like the context, the whole context defines everything. והנה תחלה יש להקדים בבחינת ראש זה הקו הזה שבא בבחינת אור פנימי ואחר כך מסבב ונמשך בבחינת אור פנימי וחוזר ומסבב וכו'.

So first we have to explain about the ראש זה הקו though, before we get into the עיגולים, that that the ראש זה הקו it goes it says that that first it comes down, right, the very first היולי קו comes down from the רשימו, then it circles, and then it goes down and then it circles.

Visualizing Concentric Circles with a Continuous Line 1:37

In other words, what this is is like let's say you would draw a bunch of concentric circles and with a line going through them, so it looks like that the that there's a bunch of עיגולים with a line going through it, but it's not really the way it goes. Really it's one the circles are made of lines. So it's like if you would draw that thing without pick up your pen, that same image, so you first draw a little you go down like let's say a centimeter, then you draw a circle until you come back to the same point you were, and then you go draw another line going down another centimeter and then you draw another circle.

And then you go another one, and then you go another one, and then you go another one. And you keep going inside concentric circles, smaller and smaller, right?

It's really one line. ומבואר בעץ חיים, and it explains in עץ חיים, שבבחינת עשר ספירות דעיגולים העליון מכולם משובח מכולם והפנימי מכולם גרוע וכו'. בבחינת עשר ספירות דיושר ולהיפך עליון גרוע והפנימי משובח וכו'. What's the difference between עיגולים and יושר? The difference is that in עיגולים, כתר is on the outside and מלכות is on the inside.

So the best one is on the outside, and the the worst one, the lowest ספירה is on the inside. In יושר, each ספירה is מתלבש in the one under it. So the כתר goes into the חב״ד, and the חב״ד goes into the מדות, and the מדות goes into the מחשבה דיבור ומעשה.

So the outermost one is the the מלכות, is the מחשבה דיבור ומעשה. And inside of that is inside of the מעשה is the מחשבה and דיבור, and inside of that is the מדות, and inside of that is the שכל, and inside of that's the רצון, and then the תענוג.

Like if you're going to draw a drawing of it, that's the difference: whether you draw כתר on the outside and מלכות on the inside or whether you draw כתר on the inside and מלכות on the outside.

That's like the difference. So what are Before we talk about circles and things, we have to understand what like what is this what does it mean עיגולים and יושר? What what does a circle mean, and line mean, and you know, what are we talking about?

וביאור הדברים, the explanation of these matters, these things. הנה ידוע שבבחינת רצון קודם זה, that this first רצון, the רצון for the house in the משל, right, הגם שלגבי בחינת רצון הפשוט המוחלט בעצמות נקרא התפשטות הרצון, even though compared to the רצון המוחלט, it's already called like a particular revealed רצון, that you went from having just like a taste to actually having a רצון for a house.

So it's already a revealed desire that you want a house. But the truth is אבל עדיין הוא בהעלם, it's really still hidden. ולא בגילוי כלל, it's not revealed at all. כי אינו רק השפעת והמשכת רצון הפשוט של חפץ חסד שהוא חפץ בעצמות מכבר, כך יהיה בפועל ממש. All this it means, this first רצון, you don't yet know what you want. All you know is that you want your רצון המוחלט to be revealed בפועל ממש.

That's what that first רצון is. So in other words, you don't want a house yet. In a way, you don't even want a home yet.

You Sure don't want a house. A house you don't want until בריאה and יצירה and עשיה. And even a home you don't really want yet, because you didn't even hit יושר א"ק. All you know is that that you have this like inner stirring, you know, and people have this at a certain age, they want to like different things. They want to be independent, they want to get their own space.

You have you just feel this you don't know what it is yet, you just feel this thing that you don't like the way things are, and you want things to be the way that you like them.

Yeah, you feel cramped, you know, you feel like your your cramping, you know, your parents are cramping your style. That's what you feel. You're at home, you know, and your your whatever, you want to leave the house, your mother tells you you have to wear a sweater cuz it's cold, and, you know, wash your hands, I don't know, whatever, all these things are in your hair, and you feel that they're cramping your style.

Yeah, so you just have this this רצון to have things be the way that you want to be. But you don't you don't even know before you figure out that that means like having your own house and like your own job, and your own life, and like, you know, and and and what, and for sure you didn't figure out what kind of house, and where, what kind of job, you didn't figure out any of that yet.

It's just this רצון which you have always ever since, you know, even as a little kid, to have to have like an independent thing that expresses yourself, you know, the way that you want it to to be.

It's like just this inner desire to like be yourself. I mean, it doesn't sound right to be yourself, cuz you can't not be yourself, you know, it's ridiculous, "I want to be myself." What do people mean when they say they want to be themself, or they want to find themself, or they want to understand themself, you know?

That's like what they really mean is they want to figure out how to get the world to express themself, how to fit with them, you know?

Like a guy that's trying to play an instrument, you know what I mean? Like they want to learn how to get the world to play their song, you know? They they really know what they want to play, even if they don't realize it, because they don't realize it because they don't know they're trying to think in terms of like music. Like you can have a a רצון for a song in your head already, that's like having a רצון מוחלט, that you certain things sound good to you, but you don't know what song it is until you bring it out into the instrument, right?

That's the thing of like the היולי that has to come out with the עקא, you know.

Understanding the Hidden Original Desire (רצון קדום) 7:35

So, really this רצון קדום is still hidden. You still don't know what you want. You just know, you know, you don't know in a tangible way. ומיד שעלתה מחשבה זו שיהיה הכל, as soon as you have it comes up in your thought today, you know, I want I want to do everything that was in my רצון מוחלט, הוא הנקרא מחשבה ורצון קדום, that's called the first מחשבה and רצון, or the original.

קדום really means original, it doesn't mean first, because it in in like in English, it means that it's the origin of everything else, that everything else is just a branch from it.

First just means that it happens to be the first one, right? It's like a difference between a father to his children and a firstborn. So, a father you call him קודם, that he precedes them, he's their origin, and the firstborn just happens to be first.

So yeah, so this is the original רצון שכולל כל מה שבתוכו, which includes everything that's inside of it, רצונות פרטים, all the particular desires inside of it כנ"ל, כמשל בנין, like we said about the משל of the רצון for a house, right? That as soon as you say, "I want a house," or, "I want a home," whatever,

automatically all the other רצונות are included in that. And so, this is not the first רצון, it's not like just the first it happens doesn't just happen to be first. The only reason that you want the kitchen sink is because you want a house. It's all included, and it's predicated on the fact that you have the general רצון for the house. And they're defined by that, and they're included in the definition.

Your definition of a house includes all those things. אם כן, עדיין רצון קדום זה, הכל בעצמו. So, if so, this first רצון is still totally within God Himself.

In other words, like in a person, that his רצון, that he wants the the home, when it first comes up, he's not thinking of anything outside of himself, he's thinking about something in himself that he wants to feel a certain way.

He wants to express a certain style, a certain, you know, whatever it is, a taste. He doesn't want something outside of himself. בלתי התגלה לחוץ, it's not revealed yet outside in anything separate. אבל ממנו נעשה הכל, nevertheless, from it comes everything אחר כך, afterwards, cuz everything is just the expression of that that רצון. וזה הוא And this is what it says כי הוא אמר במחשבה קדומה ויהי וכו', that God said, and it was.

Whenever it says אמר by the way, it always means אמר means מחשבה really. And even when it means speech, it means that you're saying what's on your mind.

Means you're just like saying what you're thinking.

No, when you're making an official proclamation, you're not just saying what's on your mind, you are making an official statement. So, the focus there is that it's דיבור. The focus is on is on that you are saying it, right? So, as opposed to where you're just sitting and talking with your friends, like casually, where the focus is not on what you're saying, but on what you're thinking.

Thought vs Speech: Meaning of 'אמר' 10:37

You say, "Yeah, you know what I mean," right? Because you're not really focusing on the the the words, and that they have to be exact, right? And also like when you're when you're trying to like tell somebody the reason or like get them when when you anytime you're focusing on the thought behind it, as opposed to the words, you call it אמירה.

And when you're focusing on the words, then you call it דיבור. Therefore, where it says כי הוא אמר, that he said, ויהי, that means that he revealed his in a way of like מחשבה, or at least like the מחשבה of דיבור, you know, it means it means a a level that's that's focused on מחשבה.

A גילוי of מחשבה. So, there's different levels of גילוי מחשבה. So, here he's talking about the like the רצון קדום, it's called a first מחשבה, right, the original מחשבה.

So, that is called that he said, כי הוא אמר, he said, in other words, he said to himself. He figured out, he decided how he wanted the world to be, ויהי, and then it all came to be according to that, right? As soon as he told God told himself, "I want a world, I want a דירה בתחתונים," so then everything else is just following from that automatically.

Everything else is just part of that is all just doing that one thing of making the the דירה בתחתונים.